That's a darn cobra taking out a pound of Cowboys flesh this season.
All season long, for 10 games now, just seems to be the same thing: Just when the Cowboys think things are going well, boom, they go down the tubes. And just when it seems the season is heading down the tubes, the brakes start screeching for that one-eighty. Time after time after time.
So here the Cowboys were, feeling pretty good about themselves for a change after beating the Washington Redskins on the road, 14-10. Not an overwhelming victory, but when you have lost two of the past three and you go on the road against a 6-3 team you're trying to chase down and win a grind-it-out game, well, you have a right to do a little singing on the early-morning charter flight back home.
Plus, you just got Tony Romo back, and Terence Newman, too. You got Kyle Kosier back a second time, and maybe back for good. Jason Witten continues playing through a fractured rib, and here you are with Isaiah Stanback and Bobby Carpenter getting back into practice this week.
Full speed ahead for San Francisco, this Sunday at Texas Stadium.
Then this:
Felix Jones is out for the season, evidently while successfully rehabbing his slightly torn left hamstring he suffered ligament damage under his left big toe the Friday before the bye week. After consulting a specialist, surgery is going to take place this Saturday, determined to be, as the team's release states, "the best option for Felix' long-term future."
Great. Just great.
And this: Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says the NFL will reinstate Adam "Pacman" Jones in time for the suspended cornerback to be active for the Pittsburgh game on Dec. 7.
Great. Really great.
So you lose your offensive "wow" factor and you eventually become saddled with your team-wide lightning rod, although look, as distractions go, the announced return of Pacman was no more a distraction in this team's locker room on Thursday than if a cricket had hopped through one end to the other.
First of all, there were as few players as ever in the locker room on Thursday available for interviews, and the two or three who were sure seemed indifferent to the news. So it wasn't like their thoughts were being pulled away from San Francisco preparation.
For as veteran Leonard Davis said, "Things happen, what are you going to do, sit there and worry about it or play football?"
Or as Capt. Witten said, while pointing out most of the guys will give Pacman "the benefit of the doubt," he "hopes (Pacman) accepts his role, too."
So to me, that Pacman is coming back or that players are asked about his return should be no excuse for playing poorly against San Francisco or Seattle or Pittsburgh, or whoever else you want to name. They have a job to do, just like the rest of us do in our small worlds, no matter what knuckleheads walk through the office. You do what you gotta do.
Distractions are only an excuse for losers and a prominent entry in the Media Book of Questions.
The toughest part of Pacman's return will be on him, potentially having to deal with cold shoulders from guys who feel he let them down at exactly the wrong time. He's going to have to earn their trust - again - and as Dave Campo said, earn his way back onto the field. That all is going to be on him, but should not detract from what players must do.
At least that's me, and if that's a little too much Old Man Mickey thinking, then so be it. Silly me to think trust and accountability of a co-worker is invaluable. But Pacman has nothing to do with what goes on starting noon Sunday, other than he will be missing the fifth of what appears will be six consecutive games . . . still out of sight, out of mind.
But for something to do with Sunday, we turn to the absences of Felix Jones and Miles Austin. That's speed. That hurts. And this is just a continuation of what's been going on all season long, injury after injury after injury.
And look, we know injuries are part of this game, but if you look at the big picture, what's taken place this season is almost frightening.
Let's start here: No matter what you think of safety Roy Williams, the Cowboys already have two Pro Bowl players on injured reserve, Williams and punter Mat McBriar. They've also lost backup receiver/special teamer Sam Hurd. Their absences, along with that of Felix Jones, who already had missed four games, will total 42 games by season's end. Breaking it down, that will eventually be 10 for Felix, 10 for McBriar, nine for Williams and 13 for Hurd.
Also consider this: Of the 80 players designated inactive in the 10 games so far this season - seven players, and an inactive third quarterback a game - 38 of those players (nearly half) were put down because of injury.
Let's continue with the rest: Kosier missed eight games, Newman six, Stanback four (if he plays Sunday), Anthony Spencer four, Romo three, Pat Watkins three and Austin three but certainly at least four since no way he gets back in time from his sprained knee for the Thanksgiving Day game.
And to top all this off, before Pacman Jones is supposedly eligible to play again, he will have missed six games during his "indefinite" suspension that had to last at least four.
Starting to catch my drift?
Add it all up - OK, get out the calculator for this - and throw in two games for Deon Anderson and a game each for Carpenter and Stephen Bowen, and the Cowboys will at least - at least - have injured or suspended players missing from a total of 83 games by my count, one certainly to swell over the final six-game stretch.
That's a slew.
That makes a difference no matter what you want to think.
Now this is not an excuse for the Cowboys being only 6-4, but face it, wouldn't you rather have taken your chances against St. Louis with Romo, Newman, Kosier, Felix, Spencer, Watkins, Williams, McBriar, Hurd and Pacman?
How about against the Giants with Romo, Newman, Kosier, Felix, Williams, McBriar, Hurd and Pacman?
See, singularly, these injuries don't seem as debilitating. You might say, "Come on, you ought to be able to win a game or two without your starting quarterback."
The Cowboys did, but just agame. You might say, "Come on you ought to win without your Pro Bowl cornerback." The Cowboys did, but just three of the six, and failed to win one he probably shouldn't have played in anyway. You say, "Come on, you ought to win without a starting guard." Well, they did, four out of eight.
And as hard as it might be to admit, you say, "Come on, you ought to still win without your suspended backup corner who ended up being your starting corner because of injuries to Newman." Well, the Cowboys did, but just two of the four games he's missed.
Collectively, though, and let's throw tight end Jason Witten in there for two games even though he somehow played through that fractured rib, these MIA's become another story.
As Cowboys head coach Wade Phillips said in reference to some of his current injuries, "It changes with injuries certainly what you're going to do and how you're going to do it."
Basically, after the first three games of the season the Cowboys haven't been the same team everyone was picking to go 12-4 or 13-3 or win the Super Bowl. There has been a steady deterioration of talent - as every team experiences in this league - but logically the ones staying healthier have the best chance of remaining successful.
That's why I continually said the Cowboys wasted those early years of Bill when they were incredibly healthy but could do no better than 10-6 that first season and never won a playoff game in any of his four seasons.
So here we go, heading toward two games in fives days, then the four-game December stretch run, and just when it seemed the Cowboys were getting healthier they have another guy about to land on IR and yet another to be out two to four weeks - and both just happen to be two of their fastest offensive weapons.
And who knows what affect you-know-who's return will have.
Man, what else?
What next?
Always something this season.
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Mickey Spagnola - 
