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FRISCO, TX — I'm gonna keep this one short. I am bewildered. I am befuddled. I am beginning to question if I've been transported to the mirror dimension without my consent, where up is down and down is up.
That's the only logical explanation for what I have witnessed from the Dallas Cowboys through the first eight games of the 2026 season, because it's been … strange.
Offensively, on paper, this is one of the upper echelon teams, and one that proved itself capable of being No. 1 in the land over the course of a season — producing two 1,000-yard All-Pro receivers (a first for George Pickens' career, along with a Pro Bowl nod), a 1,200-yard running back and a 4,500-yard Pro Bowl quarterback en route to averaging nearly 30 points per game.
This is where you probably point out that they average nearly that same amount of points through their first eight games in 2026, but to do so would be disingenuous, seeing as the most recent three losses could rightfully be attached to the offense just as much, if not more, at times, than the defense.
And, by the way, nine of those 30 points scored against the Cardinals were on field goals, meaning the offense only scored 21 points, and in what world is scoring only 21 points viewed as more than enough to put a game away?
Ah, yes, in the mirror dimension.
The losses to the Buccaneers and Packers are, in my opinion, more attributable to the offense's inability to take advantage of the flashes shown by the defense than the other way around and, to a pretty sizable degree, the same is true in the loss to the Cardinals, when the defense did the following up to the 1:35 marker in the third quarter — on their first seven drives:
- Punt
- Turnover on downs (4th-and-inches at the goal line)
- Interception
- Punt
- Field goal
- Forced fumble/recovered
- Punt
- 3 sacks (one per quarter average)
Now, let's see what the results were for the Cowboys' first seven offensive drives:
- Punt
- Touchdown - Q1 (fumbled then recovered in the end zone)
- Touchdown - Q2 (broken play, Ryan Flournoy saved it)
- Punt
- Missed field goal - 61-yarder to end first half
- Made field goal - 31-yarder - Q3
- Punt
As you can see in the breakdown above, the offense scored only 17 points through its first seven series, one touchdown nearly being a disastrous lost fumble in the end zone and the other happening thanks to a heads-up play by Prescott and Flournoy, not due to a play call that bested what the Cardinals decided to do on that play.
When Gardner Minshew entered the game late in the third quarter, the Cardinals had just a four percent chance of winning the game.
If the Cowboys would've flipped one of those three punts into a field goal, the odds would've dropped to <1% for the Cardinals and, if they flipped one of those three punts into a touchdown — just one of them — the odds of a successful comeback would've been virtual nil despite the fourth-quarter defensive collapse.
The difference between 24-3 and 17-3 with 16.5 minutes remaining is actually a massive one, and even 20-3 makes it a three possession game which deletes the rushing attack, meaning Tyler Allgeier likely doesn't get the chance to have a career day in the fourth quarter because Minshew would've had to drop back 35 times to try and throw the Cardinals back into the game.
This isn't to say he wouldn't have still thrown for three touchdowns against a Joey Porter Jr.-less and Caleb Downs-less secondary, but do the projected math there based upon what the Cowboys offense did in the fourth quarter.
- Touchdown - Prescott 5-yard scramble - Q4
- Made field goal - 35-yarder - Q4
Assuming the offense did successfully flip one of the punts into a touchdown, the 24-3 hypothetical score — granting Minshew three touchdowns in this scenario, while deleting Allgeier based upon them being shoved into a one-dimensional game by a three-possession deficit — means the final score in regulation would've been 34-24 in a win.
And if one of the three punts were flipped to a field goal and not a touchdown, all things remaining the same in this scenario, the Cowboys win 30-24 in regulation.
Now, if they were absolutely cooking as they have the potential to when firing on all cylinders, maybe the Cowboys flip two or three of those would-be punts into touchdowns and, at that point, it's an absolute rout that leaves the Cardinals no chance whatsoever, breaking their will in the process en route to a blowout win at home.
But, OK, none of that happened and the Cowboys offense still needed just one first down and a few extra yards in overtime to get into position for a potential game-winning kick by Aubrey, after the defense forced Minshew to go three-and-out in their first possession — getting another sack in the process.
The offense marched onto the field, without CeeDee Lamb or George Pickens, and actually lost five yards on three plays before punting from their own 24-yard line. This adds to the head-scratching decision to play conservatively for a field goal to end regulation, forcing only a six-point lead that would've cost them the game before overtime if not for a missed point after attempt.
Prescott said he wished they were more aggressive, and owner, president and general manager Jerry Jones says he wants the offense to get back to being strong enough to carry Dallas through a bad quarter or two from the still-growing defense.
In three of the last four games, neither has occurred, and they've now suffered another gut-wrenching and unfathomable loss in 2026, again at home, and I'm left to wonder what might've been against Arizona if the Cowboys offense would've showed up like it did in Philadelphia.
But, hey, at least the offense scored 30 points, right? What an unserious take.
If they scored those 30 points on their first four or five possessions of that contest, all told, we likely wouldn't be standing here in the mirror dimension trying to figure out why the buildings and streets are upside-down, now would we??
Expect better from both sides of the ball in Dallas, period, but expect more from the group with a far greater number of All-Pros and Pro Bowlers on it — that is healthier too, by far — and also from the maestro holding the baton.
Everyone knew Christian Parker would have growing pains, and injuries have exaggerated them greatly, but what's the excuse on offense?
There isn't one.
The potential is there, but time is quickly running out to make that statement mean something.
