FRISCO, Texas – The passing of Marshawn Kneeland last week is still and will still weigh heavy on the hearts of the Cowboys organization for a long time.
On Tuesday, Cowboys owner and general manager Jerry Jones spoke for the first time about losing Kneeland.
"Devastated," Jones said to 105.3 The Fan of his reaction when he found out the news. "Just hard to believe the content that was on the other phone in the middle of the night when we all got the news."
To honor Kneeland the rest of the season, Jones revealed that the Cowboys will wear a special helmet decal for the rest of the year that team leaders are currently reviewing design options for. They'll also warm up in commemorative t-shirts in their upcoming game against the Raiders, and the following week against the Eagles when Dallas returns to AT&T Stadium for their first game since the tragedy.
This past week, teams around the NFL paid tribute to Kneeland by holding moments of silence before each game.
"I do want to say publicly how much I appreciate the national news, the national recognition of him," Jones said. "I thought it was so fitting that on the game Sunday night, all through Sunday, that they recognize the loss of Marshawn."
As the Cowboys prepare to come off the bye week and head to Las Vegas in less than a week, they're still going through the grieving process. The team held an emotional meeting in person together on Monday, and the group being back together after some time off helped some players heal. In Jones' mind, football being the ultimate team game extends off the field as well.
"We all are having to share the sorrow, all are having to share the different ways or different things that come through your mind. It's not light that as a teammate, Marshawn touched everybody in many different ways. The very definition of team is we love each other, we rely on each other. That's the ethos of what a team is about. Everybody expects that this is a rough game, it takes some real mental toughness to play the game, but in fact there's a lot of love for each other there that is shared in unique ways, and you get to know each other pretty good…" Jones said.
"Sports emphasizes so many things that we all want, to some degree, to hang our hat on. But this is a reality check that at the end of the day, the human things of having someone's company on earth, being able to be involved with them for the time that we're here, they're here, all of those things come to mind in times like this."
One of the leaders of that meeting on Monday was head coach Brian Schottenheimer, who has shown time and time again that he has a genuine care for his players. Jones credited Schottenheimer's background of being around the game of football his entire life helping him be prepared to lead this group in difficult times like these.
"Schotty does have a realism about him because he simply was born into it in terms of being around anything unique about a football team," Jones said. "I think we all have unfettered feelings about the people we love, people we work with. This is just a time when you acknowledge that there's no answers. It makes you want to live life to the fullest, it makes you want to look for the very best in what we have for each other, and in some way make some sense out of these times."
Football, especially at the NFL level, is a game with a heavy spotlight on it's players. Millions and millions of people watching every Sunday, but the light doesn't get any brighter for players throughout the week too. Kneeland's passing brought into perspective just how much pressure those in the NFL are under each and every day.
"Everybody evaluates everybody, it's the nature of it. You're under an evaluation almost from the time you get up until you go to bed," Jones said. "And so in that area, why couldn't we have seen maybe that there were issues that we all have dealt with in all of our lives?"
"That's the mental aspect of our being. No one gets more attention, no one gets any more scrutiny, no one gets any more critiquing than these guys that play this game. It's a game that you've got to give up yourself when you're hurting a little bit, or give up yourself when you're tired, or give up yourself when you don't feel like it… He lived that life every day."
As difficult is at is to imagine and is unimportant as it seems following a tragedy of this nature, the Cowboys will go back to playing football. Jones believes that the Cowboys taking a mindset of playing for Kneeland going forward will help make the transition back easier.
"From the standpoint of the team, from the standpoint of going back to work, there's no doubt in my mind that they will do so in memory of what he was all about," Jones said.
"He was very unique in his zest for life, and he was very unique in his passion for the game. And of course the saddest thing for someone like me is the fact that he was only 24 years old. You think about all of the time that we're going to miss him, and he's going to be missed by the people around him, he was just getting started."
